id be glad to
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
