Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
