I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and she was petting her beer can
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
