So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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