You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
