Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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