Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
