u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
