okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
