Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
