anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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