I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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