Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
