Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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