so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
