and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
