just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
