Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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