flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
