these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
