so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
