and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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