we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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