Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I wear drunk well.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize