he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
