I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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