The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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