rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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