i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
