Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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