hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think i got beer on your cat.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I did not marry a roomba.
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