If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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