my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
