I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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