I want to walk on stilts...naked
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize