I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
