HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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