Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
