I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
