Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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