WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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