8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
