So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
