I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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