If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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