i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
