I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize