She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
