The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
