How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
