If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
soo... how was my night?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
