i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
