I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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