Ketchup is God's man juice
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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