I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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