Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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