I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
