'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
