Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
