It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
