have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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