i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
